I want a career that fits in with caring for my special needs daughter: Ask the expert

It's a dreadfully difficult situation for your poor daughter and your family - my heart goes out to you.  I feel society should support families better, sadly we don't. Firstly, the obvious - trying to relieve the financial stresses you're facing. Have you had the Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) go through your financial situation with you and see whether you're entitled to more benefits, tax credits, etc than you're currently getting?  The Tax & Customs and DSS staff sometimes get things wrong and this is a particularly complex area of social administration.  CAB have a very good track record for identifying mistakes and under-payments and for helping with the claims process.
 
Maybe there's also a useful internet forum/group to assist families caring for children with health problems like your daughter's?  These groups often provide wonderful "coal face" advice and support for embattled carers. Let's now look at the job issues. Hopefully, the doctors may be able to cure or reduce much of the ill health currently afflicting your daughter.  At present, though, it's going to be very difficult for you to find work that's sufficiently well-paid to be worth doing part-time as and when your daughter's health permits. I suggest you attempt all of the following: try to team up with someone else and go for jobs both can do as a job share arrangement. Your job sharer will need to be able to commit extra hours to the job whenever an emergency hits you, on the understanding you will "pay back" the time when you can. 

Clearly your job share partner needs to be a good friend or someone with earlier experience of trying to run a job and simultaneously care for a particularly vulnerable dependent. Look for jobs with long timescales so that you can get ahead of yourself while the going's good, then forget the job when you hit a crisis. Possible jobs might include transcribing material for academic books, some types of market research, etc. Look for "bank" and "temp" jobs you could do at very short notice when your family circumstances permits (e.g. slotting in as an emergency carer, house renovator, etc). Look for jobs with employers with very strong social/ethical values likely to find expression in supporting you as a hard-working carer.  Possible employers might include faith groups (e.g. the Church of England's administration department), carers' groups (e.g. Mencap) and so on. Before applying for any job, you'll need to be able to show the employer you've plans in place to ensure work doesn't suffer when you suddenly need to take time off.

I wouldn't mention your caring responsibilties at all until the middle/end of the interview stage of your application.  You have to be open then, otherwise your attempts to evade the topic will make you look shifty and uncomfortable. Checking your legal position with CAB before making any job applications might make you feel more confident at interview - employers have a duty under equal opportunities legislation to make reasonable adjustments to accommodate parents' caring responsibilities.
 
Linda Whittern is Director of Careers Partnership (UK), a careers consultancy for people at all stages of their careers.
 
Whilst every care has been taken in compiling this answer, WorkingMums cannot be held responsible for any errors or omissions. This information is not intended to be a substitute for specific legal advice.