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Ask the expert: unfair burdens

It is important here to work out exactly what your feelings are towards your husband. Do you, for example, feel resentment because you are doing the lion’s share of the childcare arrangements and he is getting more time off outside of work. Do you feel frustration at him as he doesn’t seem to appreciate all the ‘extras’ outside of work that you take responsibility for? It may even be jealousy as it has been assumed that his career is more important than yours? Do you feel he is being sexist in expecting you to take charge of the domestic jobs as well as...

Posted at 12:50am, 09 Jul 2008

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Ask the expert: bullying

First of all, believe it or not, bullies tend to be people who have very low self-esteem, and being unpleasant to other people makes them feel better about themselves. But the danger is the longer they bully, the lower the self-esteem of their ‘target’ becomes.

You seem to think that your only option if you left would be to find a full-time job elsewhere. Do you know for sure that there would be no alternatives within the same organisation? Do you know for sure that there are no part-time jobs doing the same thing for another organisation? Also, you...

Posted at 9:01pm, 05 Feb 2008

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Ask the expert: I'm fed up with my job

There are several issues you have raised here, some of which I am afraid I am not qualified to advise on, and would recommend that you seek legal advice. The repetitive strain injury and the change to your working hours without your agreement are legal issues. In terms of your self-esteem, firstly the fact that you have identified what is going on is the first step, so well done.

It sounds as if you have been treated unfairly and that your requests to change working hours and defending yourself against suspicions of missing cash have gone unheard. This must...

Posted at 11:44pm, 29 Apr 2008

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Ask the expert: I've lost my confidence

I am so sorry to hear that you have obviously been going through a very tough time. To start with, it will greatly help you if you can put going back to work in a positive light. At the moment, it must feel quite daunting, but try to focus on the positive things going to work will bring to your life, for example, meeting new people, something for you, learning new skills.
It will also help if you can identify doing something that you will enjoy and matches your natural abilities as well as the skills you undoubtedly...

Posted at 10:53pm, 18 Feb 2008

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Ask the expert: I feel trapped

I think this is a situation a lot of us can sympathise with.   I sense that the feeling of being ‘trapped’ makes you feel powerless and that you do not have any choices. The first thing you must do is to recognise that we always have choices. Even doing nothing is a choice. The good thing is that you have recognised that the current situation is not working well for you, and have started to think of alternatives.   The fact that these alternatives come in the form of ‘fantasies’ is interesting as the word ‘fantasy’ conjures up something...

Posted at 6:49pm, 25 Nov 2007

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