The relationship between working mums and childminders is one of mutual dependency - working mums need reliable childcare and childminders need work. But in many cases it develops into something far deeper - a kind of mutual support club which is both a professional relationship but also a very close friendship centred around the child or children who both care for. The childminder is the first to see a working mum after a bad day in the office and a nightmare journey home while a working mum can provide welcome adult conversation after a day spent looking after children. It's the kind of daily relationship that most women don't have even with their best friends. Working Mums spoke to one childminder and working mum to find out how their relationship works.
Sarah’s story
Sarah Robinson lives in Wainscott, near Rochester in Kent, is childminder to Ruth Lawson’s two children, Phoebe [3] and Abigail [6]. She has looked after Phoebe for two years full time and picks up Abigail from school.
Sarah has been a childminder for nine years, since her third son Sam was eight months old. She has three sons aged 19, 16 and 10. Her oldest sons help out and Sam has “never known anything different than lots of children in the house”. “He wouldn’t know what to do in a quiet house,” she says.
Sarah knows what it is like to use childcare. She used to work in a special needs school and used a childminder when Sam was born. She says she found it difficult to cope with dropping off two children at school, dropping Sam off at the childminder and work. “I denied that I couldn’t cope,” she says. Her childminder suggested she become a childminder. She talked it through with her husband and says “the rest is history. I love it. If I could do it for nothing I would, but I have to earn a wage. Some of the mums I see say they have had enough of balancing everything. I know what it’s like when they come in a bit stressed and want to get home. I fully understand. I had one mum the other night and I took one look at her and realised she wasn’t okay and we sat down and had a talk and she said she felt much better. I try to find time for the mums if they want to talk and they are also there for me.”
She says she might have a bad day and a mum will sit her down and tell her to relax. Sarah has 11 children on her books: she has Phoebe all day and two other children all day three days a week and the rest are all after school on different days or on school holidays. She also has two schoolchildren before breakfast. Not all the children are at the same school, but her mum helps out with pick-ups.
Early Years
Sarah does the early years curriculum for two and a half hours a day with Phoebe. She teaches her things like writing her name, recognising shapes, counting and sign language and takes her on outings. These sessions are subsidised by the Government so parents don’t pay for these sessions. She had to be an accredited childminder, which required extra training. The National Childminding Association send a coordinator along every six weeks to make sure all her policies and paperwork are up to date. She says that witout their support, she couldn’t do what she does.
Sarah lends out her toys to the children and they can bring their own toys to her house. For after school children, there is no set routine as the children can be tired. Sarah’s attitude is to do what the mums would do if they had the children at home. At half term, she puts on lots of activities.
She has only had two days off sick in nine years, but had to have six weeks off for an operation a while ago and warned everyone well in advance. She has a couple of other childminders as back-up if she is sick. “I tend to work through illness. I feel guilty that the mums have to work. That is the continuity of care that I am offering and they rely on me not having to have lots of days off,” she says.
She adds that the parents are “fantastic”. Before her six weeks off, they came round her house with their diaries and worked out how to cover the care. “They did it voluntarily as friends,” she says. If Ruth is late, she normally rings, says Sarah, and it is not a problem.
Ruth’s story
Ruth Lawson used to work in London when she had Abigail and she was at a childminder and then nursery. It was when Abigail started school that Ruth looked for a local childminder through the Family Information Service provided by the council and found Sarah.
Ruth works full time as an office manager for a printing and mailing company in Hertfordshire. "It's always a bit of a mission to get back in time, but Sarah is ever so good," she says. Her journey home involves the M25 which, due to traffic, means her journey time is difficult to predict. "There are occasions when I am up to an hour late, although this does not happen often and my husband is only 45 minutes away and can usually pick up in an emergency. If I am late, thought, it is usually between five minutes and half an hour and sometimes I am early, but Sarah is always understanding."
She adds that Sarah never charges extra. Once she arrives, Ruth and Sarah usually have a short chat about how the day has gone.
In the summer holidays, Ruth's children split their time between their parents and their grandparents, but Sarah helps out with other holidays and half terms. Phoebe loves going to Sarah's in the holidays, but Abigail is not so keen. However, Sarah has made a real effort to get her involved, says Ruth.
Ruth's typical day involves dropping off Abigail at her school's breakfast club at 8am, then dropping Phoebe at Sarah's at 8.10 and heading for work. Sarah picks up Abigail from school and Ruth is usually back by 5.30/6pm to pick up. She would prefer to work part time and has done in the past, but the bills need to be paid. “I don’t find I’m totally stressed. I am used to it. It is rushed when we get home – dinner, bath, homework and bed, but they are usually in bed by 8pm. We have quite a strict regime on this or my husband and I would never get to eat.”
She thinks Sarah is “brilliant”. “She does a fantastic job and is always willing to help out.”
Do you use a childminder? What is the relationship like? Email us at mandy@workingmums.co.uk
*In the accompanying photo, Ruth is at the back in glasses and Sarah is at the front with her son Sam.
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I think this is a great story
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