It’s that time of year again when all thoughts turn northwards. If you’re well prepared, you’ve already got the kids to write their letters to Santa, but what about you? What do you want for Christmas? Here is a list to pick and mix which is in keeping with our current post-Obama, post-materialism, post-crunch times:
2. A paid career break which doesn’t involve giving birth.
3. A very soft bed made out of clouds or at the very least, a lie-in till past 7.
4. A Star Trek transporter system.
5. Inset days at work [for the management to do training. Everyone else gets the day in bed].
6. A crack secretarial team to organise your non-work life.
7. A wardrobe full of clothes that require no ironing.
8. An oven that cooks its own meals.
9. A Jonas Brothers CD eating machine.
10. A nit treatment that actually works.
11. Some form of short term memory.
12. A feeling of physical exhaustion which is based on useless sporting activity rather than endless rushing.
13. The ability to understand “simple” self-assembly instructions.
14. A feeling of inner calm at all times which is not based on Valium.
15. The ability to find felt tip pens that work.
16. A year off your children’s homework, particularly when related to the adventures of Floppy.
17. Some small chink of hope that D:ream were in fact right and things can only get better, despite all the evidence to the contrary.
18. Some sort of homing device that can locate socks that match.
19. Mary Poppins’ ability to click your fingers and make everything tidy itself up.
20. Some nuts and a tangerine.
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