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I have been instructed by my partner to relate an incident in which I undermined his authority this week in order to redress the balance of this blog in which I come over as a paragon of virtue and he comes over as a siesta-loving do-nothing. I came home from work very tired on Friday and Rebel daughter said she wanted a lollipop. She said that daddy had said she couldn't have one as she had had one earlier in the day. It was very hot. I gave her one. Apparently I do this quite often. I am not very good at backing joint decisions when I don't think they are particularly important or, indeed, are wrong. This is probably a terrible failing. The thing is you go through your entire early life questioning things and being encouraged to make your own decisions about stuff and then, suddenly, after having children, you are expected to defer to a "joint" decision-making body, a body which, in your absence, may make decisions without consulting you which you are then expected to back to the hilt. I was brought up by a single mother and hence joint decisions were not something I learnt how to deal with. In fact, I would say that I probably subconsciously assume far too much that I can do the whole parenting thing by myself and indeed should be able to.

Anyway, this week has been another rollercoaster ride. We finally reached the end of term. I was more excited than the girls. I am so looking forward to holidays, even if they aren't mine. I've only got a week off later in August. Also, I have discovered a reasonably priced holiday playscheme at the last moment and this could reduce my dependence on my mum and my guilt at said dependence. However, rebel daughter doesn't want to go. She's done with holiday playschemes and just wants to be at home. I don't blame her after the bad time she's had at school, but I've got to get some work done and I can't keep asking my mum.

It's my own fault as doctors are keen to point out. They are apparently telling us off for having more than two children. I have three and am therefore beyond redemption. What should I do - commit infanticide or perhaps suicide? How can you quantify the life of a person? Is it just down to how much water and electricity they use, how much food they eat? When did we become reduced to units of consumption? What if that person ends up being someone who changes people's attitudes to global warming? What if they end up being a teacher? or a fireman? or a good friend to someone who needs them? How do you quantify that?

And while I'm on a rant, people keep asking me if the economic situation is going to kill off flexible working. I can't see it. Surely it will mean more necessity for both parents to work and therefore more need for flexible working so that they can also look after their children? Of course, the Government could provide totally subsidised wraparound childcare, but even though some people think this will solve the problem entirely [and there is no doubting it would help], it won't because it ignores totally the emotional pull of wanting to actually know your children. Surely, in these days of endless stabbing reports, being there is important. Work cannot be the be all and end all of life, yet for some reason we get caught up in this stupid competition where we are expected to act as if work is the most important thing - with bells on for working mothers as we can't in any way let people think that we might put our children first in case we are accused of a "lack of commitment". I look at my cat and he spends, say, three quarters of the day sleeping, an eighth eating and the rest watching birds and I think just where did we humans who go out to work all day to support said cat's lifestyle [and our own] go so wrong?

Ps accomplishments of the week: toddler daughter has developed an American accent due, perhaps, to too much familiarity with High School Musicals 1 and 2 and over-keen anticipation of number 3 and bonkers daughter has discovered the knack of doing cross eyes and unnervingly does it to me every time I look at her. I am trying to imitate her in the hope that I can introduce this look at significant points in really boring meetings to liven up events. Wouldn't it be great if you could combine it with wink murder and get rid of colleagues you dislike with just a googly-eyed glance?