The eternal question facing modern women is “can you have it all”? Is it really possible to have that great career, a spotless house, beautifully manicured nails, a good marriage – oh and happy, well adjusted, balanced children?
Feminism was the most important movement and influence on my life in the
20th century and I would not criticise it but we seem to have gone the other way and women now feel that they need to be all things to all people. Solutions – I don’t really have one but in the 8 years since my first son was born, I think the key has to be compromise – boring but true (and not just by me). Both my husband and I share our childcare with the odd granny thrown in for good measure. Lucky is what we are constantly told and to a certain extent, yes, we are lucky but we have both made compromises in our careers to enable us to spend that time with our children.
We do have understanding employers but working for large multinational companies – I am a lawyer and he is a journalist – is not all plain sailing as working parents of 3 boys aged 7,5 and 3. He has turned down promotion on several occasions to ensure he retains his shift pattern (rather than 9 to 5, five days a week) and I have moved off the partnership track to regulate my hours. It is our choice so that we can raise our children together. That means sacrificing some weekends when he will work, the big house in Hampstead, “us” time, “me” time and “friends” time. The upside is the children also have “granny” time and are always asking is it a “mummy day” or a “daddy day” – the favourite seems to be the granny day! We make the most of every minute we have together, cherish our friends and family and although hectic, life could not be better for us.
Life is about choices and taking responsibility for those choices by making the most of what you have.
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