1. You have to pick up from three different places all at vaguely the same time. What to do? Drive very dexterously, know all the back roads, know the back roads' back roads; prioritise by age of child and by which place will think you are most rubbish if you are late/will throw your child out on the street first [bear in mind that if you do this regularly you may need to vary which place goes first and last. Alternatively, you could stick to the same order and one place will think you are incredibly punctual while another will have you down as a lazy, last-minute chancer].
2. Get fit. Forget the gym and those keep fit videos. Limber up with a few sudden dashes up the road to/from school, preferably carrying everyone's bags and a baby. It's the only time you'll have for"fitness". Bear in mind that this will only mean you are good at last minute dashes so don't think it will qualify you for a marathon any time soon. Ditto running up and down the stairs in the morning when getting people ready for school.
3. Think of juggling parenthood and work as a kind of permanent crisis management course.
4. Get very good at making excuses for lateness. Be inventive. It's more fun - at least for you. Remember to keep your excuses within the realms of some sort of possibility, for instance, don't say you were stampeded by elephants on the way in to work. It probably feels like it though.
5. Cut back on unimportant things, for example, yourself and anything pertaining to said self. However, always ensure you are clothed when you leave the house.
6. Stock up on breakfast bars etc so you can cut a few minutes off the morning routine and eat en route to work. You may end up with indigestion and obese, but we're talking about survival here.
7. Always be in mobile contact with wherever you are going so you can warn them you are "on your way". They may feel you are already there if you send enough messages.
8. Investigate cloning or be very, very nice to a close relative or friend.
9. This is for the more advanced practitioner of the art of being everywhere: leave clothes, etc, lying around, for instance, a jacket on a chair at work, leave the phone off the hook, books open on the desk...People will think you have just popped out rather than suspect the horrible truth that you have not even arrived yet.
10. Invent a time travel machine.
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