Political Punditry

The past week has been agony for homeworkers, particularly homeworking journalists who remember the adrenalin boost of a national newspaper office in the throes of a big story, and who used to find covering even local council elections thrilling.
Far away from excited water cooler discussions of the latest political twists and turns, I’ve been ploughing through work, alone with my computer, tuning in to bursts of the lunchtime news over the washing machine’s spin cycle. Each new dramatic event seems to have coincided with dropping off or picking up a child from some after-school activity and Nick Robinson on the ups and downs of the relationships between political parties has had to compete with Daughter One on the ups and downs of her relationship with various BFFs, and Daughter Two’s random rifs on meteors, Harry Potter and what it would be like if we all lived under water. The solution of promising they could watch Channel Four News if they cleaned their teeth and put on their pyjamas – shamelessly exploiting the idea of unexpected telly as treat – swiftly broke down too. They were both quite into the election to begin with – they understand all about voting thanks to Saturday night TV – but began to get bored when they realised Simon Cowell didn’t feature and no-one got scooped up by a suspended moonbeam and burst into a rendition of Over the Rainbow, although there have been times this week when even this seemed a possibility.
Anyway, it ended with them both relentlessly heckling the screen, making rude remarks about what the politicians looked like, and, in D2’s case singing "Alice the Camel has One Hump" after mishearing the name of Tony Blair’s former spin doctor. She then decided that she wanted her Dad to be Prime Minister “So I can get a puppy” (she’s never forgotten Barack Obama’s reckless promise on the steps of the White House) “and a newt”. Where did that come from? “Well at least they’ve finally chosen someone,” said D1, who says all her friends like Nick Clegg best because he’s the best looking. D2 is not so sure. Worried about change, she is concerned that David Cameron may stop all school concerts and ban pets. Who needs the water cooler?