Illness part two

Welcome from the house of the afflicted. Bonkers daughter inevitably succumbed to the mystery virus - thought to be norovirus, but possibly some interesting permutation thereof - the day after big girl daughter. She woke up and was instantly sick. However, because we were due to go swimming later in the day she spent the entire morning proclaiming how well she felt and generally jumping around. Bonkers daughter is a girl of extremes, though, so by midday she had collapsed into a heap and was lying on the sofa in full drama queen suffering mode. She moaned, she groaned, she didn't want the light on, she was hot, she was cold, she couldn't move. My mum -  who had originally planned to come over to hold the baby while we went swimming and had rung me mid-morning after the baby had gone into apoplexy due to being covered in kisses - and germs - every time he was trying to get to sleep and, on finding out about the sickness and asking if she was still needed was met by a somewhat desperate plea from yours truly to "please come now before I run away" - volunteered to stay with the sick person while I took the other children on a birthday shopping expedition for their dad. This was more or less an excuse to get out of the house, get into the car and get the baby to sleep.

About an hour later I received a very dramatic whispered call from bonkers daughter. "Mummy, when are you coming home?" The words were etched with pain. I arrived home to administer Calpol and a cold compress. Around an hour or two later, on a Calpol high, the bonkers one could be found with a nappy on her head as part of some elaborate fashion show with her sisters. I think we have been watching a bit too much of America's Next Top Model, but it is, for some bizarre reason, the only thing that is keeping me sane. Yesterday, no-one at all was sick, but everyone was very energetic and, after somehow managing to convince the health visitor that I was in some way in charge of the children, we went swimming, only to be evacuated halfway through as part of a fire drill. Bonkers daughter claimed to be shaking with fear. "It must be a flood," she intoned urgently. I told her it was just part of a drill. "Daddy, we nearly died today," she reported later as big girl daughter went on yet another go-slow at eating her dinner and rebel daughter spent the entire meal with a faraway look on her face as she tried to hunt down any fly which had managed to make it inside the house. I can hardly believe it is only week one of the holidays.