A light that never goes out

Making good memories is a vital source of resilience, being able to draw on past experiences, past ways of coping, past learnings.

Trees Sizzling Minerals

 

Life is a strange thing. So much of it is about retreading things you’ve already done – emotions, events, relationships…

Everything is recycled in some way. Sometimes this can be a good thing and other times not so good.

On Friday, I took my partner to see Johnny Marr. It was his delayed Christmas present. He was big into the Smiths back in the day. All the kids have grown up with them. He even went on a Smiths tour of Manchester for his 50th birthday. I wasn’t a mega fan. I was more on a pop high in the 80s. I needed a bit of optimism. But I knew the songs and they are great.

So we were looking forward to Johnny Marr and it didn’t disappoint. A large part of the audience were our age or above. There they were – managers, business owners, teachers, social workers etc – singing at full throat and reconnecting with the 1980s. We are all so many different things and so many different experiences, but growing up is so fundamental to who we are.

People of our generations have all experienced so many things since the 1980s – good and bad. Family celebrations, divorce, loss, health issues, different jobs, adjusting to the economic rollercoaster of the last years, Covid, technological change…Yet you put on a bit of music and immediately you are right back near the beginning. All the time we have lived through is stored inside us, ready to be accessed at any time.

Which makes the job of being a parent all the more responsible. Because time goes by fast and making good memories matters. It’s a vital source of resilience, being able to draw on past experiences, past ways of coping, past learnings.

Johnny Marr finished with There is a light that never goes out. Even though I know it well, it took me off guard. I started singing along. ‘To die by your side’. My partner looked at me, but all I could think about was my daughter who died without us. She loved the Smiths. She went on the Manchester tour with my partner. Everything reconnects to that moment, but also to the memories of her. There is a light that never goes out. All that has been, is.



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