Now I am no longer in the maelstrom of work life balance, I kind of miss work.
I have slipped with ease into the role of being a stay-at-home mum. I am beginning to wonder how I ever fitted in time to ‘work’ now that there is fish pie to make and Christmas shopping to do online (far too easy, but not very good on the wallet). Even my husband has remarked that the house is remarkably tidy and organised which in translation means that for the last decade it has been a total tip, but I am wondering what is lurking behind all this obsessive cleaning and domesticity.
Whilst I am finding that I am less grumpy and more patient with the kids now that I am on top of the chores there is something lacking. Is cupcake making enough? I’m richocheting between, on the one hand, the desire to work, to lock into my inner most brain and, on the other, the delights of having all that delicious time to be at home, spend ‘quality’ time with the kids and book in playdates with military precision. I am very up and down about this. It is potentially my biggest pitfall – the difficulty of not knowing how to choose between work and home. After all, a few months ago what I wanted most in the world was to be free from the shackles of work to-do-lists, conference calls and office politicking, but now it is gone I feel some sense of emptiness.
It has come to a head recently because there is the sniff of a freelance contract on the horizon. It is very nice because they have flattered me by stalking me - I have done nothing, nader, zilch to find a job and it has come knocking at my door. Some man in Switzerland wants to employ me – subject to testing, of course, and I am finding it hard to say no. For one the pay is great and, secondly, didn’t I rather like all the hecticness of children, work, home? I will probably find that the grass isn’t greener and that my strength lies in online shopping and wiping dirty bottoms, but hey, I may just give my European friend a call.
Toodle pip: German to translate, shopping to be done.