Contradictions

Is the pregnancy going too slow or too fast? I’m not entirely sure.

I seem to be contradicting myself a lot lately. Only earlier this week, I was lamenting how slow the second trimester seems to be going. It seemed interminable on Monday. But by Wednesday the birth appeared to be looming all too soon as I tried to figure out when I wanted to go on maternity leave, how long I can afford to be on maternity leave and how on earth I am going to manage with four children and work. Actually the work part is the easy bit, except for organising and paying for childcare. Having done it with three, adding one more to the mix shouldn’t be so bad, but it’s the sleepless bit and not getting any chance to catch up which is beginning to cast a larger shadow. I had thought how marvellously I had "planned" the whole thing so that I could have the summer holidays off and sort out the summer childcare nightmare, but I am thinking now that having to entertain four children, one of whom is not sleeping [my experience of the first six months with the other three is of very little sleep. I have heard a lot about other mothers who have children who sleep the whole night by month two, but I have never ever experienced it], could be hard work.

I just hope the weather is good and we can all hang out in the paddling pool in the garden. In preparation, I took big girl daughter to the chemist yesterday to stock up on treatments for the various afflictions which plague the family from time to time [bonkers daughter has been showing off her green tummy button to all and sundry at school and it has now gone red because she keeps touching it]. Big girl daughter grabbed a bag of Huggies swimmers and said the baby needed them. A little premature perhaps. She keeps expecting him to come out for a swim and then go back in my tummy.

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