Half term lie-ins

It’s half term. Already. Although not for some and not in Scotland where in some parts – as in the Midlands – they are struggling to come  to terms with the impact of storm Babet. I think most of us recognise now that climate change is coming for all of us one way or another.

Half term is for many a chance to gather forces for the November to December marathon, although it can depend very much on the age of your children. It’s also the chance for a slight [half-hour] lie-in in our house, although every other day one of the parents has to get up at 6 to take daughter three to the station for work. I keep expecting my body clock to change from those student days, but I think I’m going to have to admit that I am basically not a morning person, even if I have to get up very early. I read about those people who spring up at 5am and go to the gym and get home after a long day’s work and are in bed by 9pm. I’m just not sure I could sustain that, particularly since, try as I might, I can’t get to bed early. There always seems to be too much to do and we’re often on pick-up alert for the teenagers too.

This half term I prepared with a Parent Information session. Normally, I avoid these as I’ve been to a fair few and they usually say the same things, which is get your child to work harder because the GCSEs are coming. But this time round I decided I needed to put in an appearance for only son’s sake and maybe because parent events are at least some simulacrum of a social life.

So I found myself sitting there being told that I needed to encourage only son to ‘interleave’. I may have got this wrong because I was so distracted by the word, but I think this means weave different bits of work into other things. If so, I have got this down to a t. My whole life is one long interleave. I can teach only son not only by telling him of the joys of interleaving, but by demonstrating them.

Next we were told to encourage our young people to do something calling ‘active recall’. This involves asking them what they have been doing at school and getting them to talk about it. Easier said than done. They suggested asking follow-up questions to the usual ‘how was your day’ which basically elicits a grunt. I do this every day, but invariably it results in only son putting on his headphones and blocking me. Occasionally we have managed a conversation about Geography or Physics, but mainly it’s about the negatives. I have yet to hit on a subject that really interests him. He sees school as a bit of a punishment thing. It wasn’t helped this week by cross country. Not only that, but he was informed that he has it next year too, having been led to believe that this was his last foray.

We were also told to encourage our children’s recall of science keywords. Some days I wonder if all knowledge – even all life – will be reduced to a series of key words.

There were also sessions on mental health [why are there so few/no men in pastoral teams – surely this needs to change?] and vaping, plus the big one – phone security. The school recommended checking your young person’s phone once a week. “No way,” said only son when I passed this information on. Daughter three helpfully backed him up. He has given me his password in the past, though, which is a step up on his sisters, but I’m not sure I can remember it. I can barely remember my own.

At least the Parent Information evening was a chance to talk about some of this stuff, even if it was in a bit of a top-down way that made me feel rather inadequate, like I was a small child who was failing. It’s hard to find time to get your mind around all the risks facing young people these days, which keep shifting in any event. Parents of teens are often hanging on by their fingernails on this rollercoaster ride. It would be good to talk more, but it’s so hard to find the time. For now, I guess we just go with our instincts, try to build trust and keep on putting one foot forward after another. At least we know how hard it can be, even if the world of social media encourages us not to admit it.

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