How I’m preparing for my third maternity leave

Annie Abelman, who runs the Mentor Mums service for parents returning to work, has written a blog for us about preparing for her own upcoming break.

In 2020, I set up Mentor Mums in order to fulfil a need that no one had met for me: support for transitioning back to work after parental leave. We’ve helped hundreds of parents to access volunteer-mentors in similar professional roles, who can share advice and life hacks that make returning easier. We also advise workplaces, so that support comes from management and not just proactive returners.

Next week, Mentor Mums will celebrate its third anniversary – and a couple of weeks later I’ll be welcoming the arrival of my own third sproglet. ‘Leaving Well’, ahead of ‘Returning Well’, are topics that I’ve now spoken about countless times on panels and in webinars. I’ve also created consultancy packages around these concepts.

So, surely it should be easy for me to practise what I preach, as I prepare to step away from work? Well, if you really want to know, it’s as hard as ever. With about a month left before due day I’m swamped – trying to finish the ‘urgent’ list, whilst also prepping my cover and making contingency plans for the business.

Thankfully I have the ultimate ‘playbook’ to hand – the wealth of knowledge gathered from the Mentor Mums community. So as I try to soak up my favourite pieces of wisdom, I thought I’d share them here:

1. Caring for a newborn is a top-notch ‘resilience and adversity training camp’!

Every ordered aspect of your life will be turned upside down – guaranteed! By the time you’re back at work you’ll be more ‘agile’ in your work-style than anyone on the team, solving problems before colleagues have even anticipated them.

2. Remember you’re good at your job already – and it’ll wait for you.

The inspiring and affirming letter that BBC Woman’s Hour presenter Emma Barnett wrote for her returning self helped her know her worth, at a time when many of us experience low confidence or impostor syndrome. We should all write one!

3. It’s lonely at the top – so find your ‘board’!

Business owners are used to being isolated decision-makers, and parenthood is a lot like enterprise. Sometimes you need to trust your gut, pull an all-nighter, or draught in the experts to help you through unchartered territory. So if you’re worried about feeling alone in the strategic decision-making, or when no one’s giving you credit for the graft, surround yourself with a strong ‘board’ (family, friends, colleagues, health professionals). Believe you’ll get there, and count every nappy changed, and every sleepy cuddle, as a worthy investment.

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You can find out more about Mentor Mums’ services here.

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