Is your teenager surfing for porn?

The average teenager is spending nearly two hours a week surfing online for porn, according to a new survey.  As the summer holidays approach and working mums can’t keep an eye on their youngsters every minute of the day, Workingmums.co.uk looks at how to tackle online pornography.

The average teenager is spending nearly two hours a week surfing online for porn, according to a new survey.  As the summer holidays approach and working mums can’t keep an eye on their youngsters every minute of the day, Workingmums.co.uk looks at how to tackle online pornography.

What is the extent of the problem?
Computers may make our lives far more efficient today, but they bring a whole host of other screen-related problems.  All parents worry about youngsters spending too long in front of the PC (sometimes late at night when they should be in bed), downloading illegally,  or watching violent and racist images. But a more disturbing finding shows the massive extent of the problem surrounding online porn.  Research by CyberSentinel.co.uk has found that the average teenager spends one hundred minutes a week surfing for porn.
”Parents with teenagers can find it difficult to approach the subject of online pornography with their children,” says Jermey Todd, chief executive for Parentline Plus.  ”Teenagers may feel confused, worried and scared that they don’t have the right information at a time when their friends are starting to think and talk about sex.  Helping your child to know fact from fiction and to explore appropriate behaviour towards sex and relationships is vital when children are beginning to surf the net.”

Don’t….
Automatically assume your child has been seeking out porn if you see sexual words on their internet history.  They may have been looking for information on sex education or sexual health matters, or clicked on a link from another site.  If you put parental controls on the computer, do your research.  Choose one which blocks porn but still permits access to sexual education sites.  Remember, many young people use the internet for sex education and health concerns.

If you find your teen accessing porn
* Don’t over-react.  Try to stay calm and say gently: ”Can we turn it off?” Go off and do something neutral, such as having a cup of tea, and talk about it when you’ve calmed down.
* Think carefully before dishing out major punishments, such as grounding them for a week.  The most important thing is to keep the channels of communication open.
* Try asking them ”What did you learn from watching that? Is it something that taught you more about love?” Stress that porn doesn’t teach about emotional relationships.
* It’s a myth that young people don’t want you to talk about it.  Chat about the impact of porn and the negative effects it can have in a general sense.  Ensure they know the difference between realistic sex and sensational sex.
* Sometimes it helps if you say: ”What do your friends think about so-and-so?” rather than asking them directly for their view.  Try: ”I’ve heard people can get porn on their mobiles – what do you think about that?”  Get the conversation going.
* Sometimes it’s easier to bring up these subjects on a car journey.  Remember they will know much more than you did at their age, so don’t say, ”When I was your age…” They will simply think you are old and boring.
* Remember this also applies to girls.  Don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s only boys who watch porn.

What if it goes too far?
Some teenagers do post sexual videos of themselves online.  This is a time to put your foot down.  Remove the webcam and ensure the PC is always in family areas.
If you think your teen is addicted to porn, you need to be frank with yourself and analyse whether you are feeding their addiction by allowing them to keep a computer in their bedroom because it keeps them quiet.
If you think there are addiction issues, see your GP and get help because it could badly affect your teenager’s general concentration and studies.  The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy will be able to recommend someone in your area. See www.bacp.co.uk.
For support from Parentline Plus, tel: 0808 800 2222. www.parentlineplus.org.uk

• Vote  
• 0
• 0
• You already voted!

• Tags:
• Lifestyle Parenting Working parents