Do you ever feel it is just too much effort to keep everything going at the same time?
I was told off by the GP the other day. For being late. In my defence, it takes an age to get through to the reception and the woman gave me a 9am appointment and put the phone down before I had time to say "but I need to drop the kids at school first…". As it was, I had no time to ring back and I figured I could make the surgery in 10 minutes. Theoretically, I could have rung a friend and asked yet another favour – for someone to take the kids into school for me - but since I feel I am doing this on a regular basis recently due to all the ante-natal/work-related stuff and I am finding it hard to repay the favours due to lack of time I didn’t. Does that make me a bad person? I feel that every week there is something or other that comes up that I have to change pick-ups, etc, for. Sometimes it feels like I am fighting a losing battle to keep everything up in the air at once. Maybe I should give up, retire to bed and we could just have the house repossessed.
As it was, I felt like just sobbing in front of the GP, but I didn’t have time. I had got up early to do some work so I could have time off for the latest ante-natal check, which, being freelance, I don’t qualify for time off for. I went through the usual tests [I was a bit surprised the blood pressure remained low to be sure] and then fired all my questions at the GP – for example, my infected finger was looking distinctly yellow as I didn’t have time to go to the doctor last week.
I emerged with two prescriptions and the knowledge that somehow or other the baby seems to be doing well.
I am not sure if it is tiredness or "pregnancy brain" [which, according to the latest research, does not exist], but I totally forgot rebel daughter had football. Then I got completely confused about big girl daughter’s ballet class and arrived halfway through, thinking the start time was the finish time. Big girl daughter, who is four, has started taking lots of personal calls from friends and seems to be organising some sort of holiday trip. She has managed to get a friend’s phone number and sneaks off with the phone into quiet corners…Meanwhile bonkers daughter is looking greenish again. My partner – and rebel daughter – think I am too soft on her, but she does do ill well. She perked up as soon as she secured the day off, but faded again before the afternoon was over. The trouble is I empathise too much with her. I could really do with a duvet day…or year.
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