Technical support

I’m sitting in my mobile car office. It’s Brownies. I get a lot of work done during Brownies. Thanks be to Brownies. Apparently it is fruit games night. I have no idea what this means. I have just noticed that my mobile phone is missing. I have contacted home via email and been told that I did not leave it in the school playground while searching for daughter three’s top which she had dropped after PE. Only son has it and is possibly filling up all its memory with photos of the Nick Jr ads. I need to get some sort of alarm system installed on my phone. I understand you can get it to only open if it sees your face. I am not, however, convinced that I want to look at my face every five minutes in order to get into my phone.

Ironically, I am writing about technological support for remote workers. This is a subject close to my heart. Mainly because I do not have time to get to grips with technology. I have been trying to download whats app onto daughter two’s phone. It’s my old phone. It kept asking me to enter the apple ID. I entered it, but it kept telling me it was wrong so I requested it to send me the correct password. However, to get into my email from daughter two’s slow phone took hours. It was easier to run downstairs and check the computer. After about half an hour I realised that I had two apple IDs. I am not sure how. Having ascertained the correct password for the phone, I attempted to download whats app. However, it is apparently impossible to do this on an iphone 3 as it is completely out of date. What a swizz. “That’s why I don’t use apple,” said my partner, rather smugly. I am not sure if other systems would be any better, but the rate of obsolescence in all things technology is very fast. I am still in the grieving process for our Mac, which at just nine years old has been told it cannot be revived.

I would like some technical support, someone who can wave a magic wand and tell you to press F4 and everything will just work. Instead, I am still coming to terms with the new-ish laptop. When I go into the content management system I use – and only on that page, strangely – if I linger for more than 30 seconds on a page adverts appear from all sides until I can barely see what I am typing. Therefore, to outfox it, I have to move fast. I enter one paragraph, hit save and then change pages, keeping just one step ahead of the adverts and the thing from Lloyds Bank which invites me to do some survey in order to win something I don’t want which I then have to pay postage on. I don’t think this is endearing me to Lloyds. Please take note, Lloyds people.

So far, however, my mobile car office is working. Last week, the mi-fi was on a go-slow. Every page that required a password – which is a lot these days – timed out before I could get in. This week things are moving at a normal pace. I may even start to love the mi-fi again. In the absence of technical support it is almost becoming a surrogate colleague. I need to get out more.

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• Mum On The Run