2. You have booked an evening in a swish restaurant with your partner where you will recall nights of yore, pre-kids, and in the flicker of the candlelight your partner will tell you that you don’t look a day older…You have taken the advice of the latest relationship book, To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First, and you’re thinking “kids, what kids?” You only have eyes for your beloved.
3. You have made a special effort to create a dinner filled with love and would be having a wonderful time if the kids didn’t keep popping downstairs to giggle at the grown-ups trying to create a bit of romance. This after two hours spent telling them yet again how you met, what falling in love means, why it is not really about actually falling, why you didn’t get hurt [at least physically], etc, etc.
4. Your partner has failed to grasp your subtle messages about foot massage, chocolate and compliments and you have had to resort to brainwashing the kids to take his place. Unfortunately, your partner has beaten you to it.
5. You are lying collapsed in a heap in front of the telly, having made a special effort to stay awake past 9pm, but not quite able to extend that to actual conversation with your partner.
6. You have spent the evening getting everyone to bed – it’s half term so they are trying to push the bedtime curfew – and trying to sort out last minute childcare for the week ahead. You have tried ringing around friends and neighbours and are now considering pets. It worked in Peter Pan after all.
7. It’s a typical Sunday night for you. Your partner does not believe in Valentine’s Day and views it as a Western, capitalist plot. He loves you every day of the year. He just never gets round to telling you.