Why are young girls getting sadder?

The annual Girlguiding survey often makes for sobering reading and this year is no exception. It shows girls’ happiness levels are now at an all-time low. The number of girls who describe themselves as very happy has decreased, with the steepest decline in girls aged 7-10. Girls said they often feel stressed, worried or anxious, and not good enough.

There are so many different contributors to all of this and the survey looks at some of the main ones, such as social media. In the past the main concern has been for secondary-school aged girls. It is worrying to see this extending more into lower age groups. Appearance is a big issue.  The number of girls who say they’re happy with how they look has fallen since 2009. More girls are being criticised or have had mean things said about their appearance compared to 2016. More are also experiencing negative behaviour online and loneliness seems to be a growing problem. Anxiety levels are high, which the pandemic has increased, and neurodiverse, disabled and LGBTQ+ girls are more likely to feel anxious, worried and lonely. Financial pressures are another factor, with 62% of girls in areas of high deprivation worrying about themselves or their families not having enough money compared to 53% of those in areas of low deprivation. Three quarters of girls are worried about the increased cost of living.

On the positive side, girls are more likely to speak out about abuse and other bad experiences and to be involved in their local community, for instance, through school projects.

It’s not surprising in some respects that there is so much unhappiness when it comes to young people these days, given what we have all been through, given the impact of the cost of living crisis which will linger for years to come and given the overhanging threat of climate disaster, which we see in reality unfolding before us every evening on the news and which comes to young people through the medium of social media. For parents it is difficult to know what kind of information or misinformation young people are getting through the likes of TikTok and how that is playing out in their heads.

For girls social media is a huge hazard when it comes to body image and confidence. Even the things purporting to be about ’empowerment’ and self confidence are a pressure. Maybe it’s better to teach them how to switch off, how to engage in things that help them disconnect from the noise and connect with the real world around them. In fact, as I’m writing this I realise that my daughters do all of this anyway. It’s me who doesn’t.

The not good enough thing is depressing. I feel like the bar was really high in my day in terms of being not just career-focused, but also attractive [and independent].  You were supposed to be able to do it all, whatever all meant. Now we’re all just strung out and the bar has got even higher. Girls – and their mothers – have to represent, be role models and so forth, which is all very well, but it is a lot when you are struggling with catching up at school, worried about the usual teenage friendship/relationship things, dealing with the dark side of the internet, including the impact on how boys’ view girls, and more.

Someone was telling me the other day about men also feeling the ubiquitous ‘imposter syndrome’ which basically means you don’t feel good enough. They felt it was important to say that men suffer from it too because no-one would expect it. Which is true. The thing is it’s not a surprise that women do. We expect it. It’s seen as something that is almost innate to women. Yet, is it? Isn’t it more to do with the messages – often mixed – that girls are receiving every day? How do we change that in an era of information overload and how do we instil some hope into young people’s lives generally? The longer I am parent the harder I think the job is. We have to be relentless in our counter-messaging, even if it appears sometimes that no-one is listening.

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