I’m thinking of ways to employ the kids in case there are still no jobs in 10 years’ time.
I have been thinking about The Future of late what with all the talk of the impending lost decade. What if there are still no jobs around for young people in 10 years’ time, I have been thinking. What will the kids do? I have decided that I have a 10-year window to set up a family business which will offer them gainful employment so they can at the very least learn some skills.
However, when I put this proposition to them they all had very different ideas of what kind of business this should be. Daughter three, of course, wanted me to set up a sweet shop. Her business argument was sound. “People will always want sweeties, Mummy. And they are not too expensive.” They will be if the sweet shop owner eats half the produce, I muttered under my breath. Daughter two wants to set up some sort of fashion outlet and daughter one has already researched a spot for a cake and shakes cafe for teenagers who are bored of being stuck in the countryside [she went to London for a sleepover this weekend and moaned about missing city life to her friend’s mum].
We managed to come up with a compromise. A cake and shakes cafe, selling sweeties, which had a performance area at the back where One Direction and daughter two can perform. I said that One Direction might be in need of places to perform in 10 years’ time when their star has dimmed. Daughters one, two and three looked at me in horror. One Direction will always be “hot”, I was informed, but I recall similar thoughts being expressed not so very long ago about poor old Big Time Rush. Where are the girls’ Big Time Rush posters now? Crumpled in a heap under their beds, that’s where. I feel somewhat sorry for the boys since apparently James from Big Time Rush is following me on Twitter. At least I think it is him.
Anyhow, we’ve got the business plan together and we now need to research premises, the market and the cakes and shakes. My partner can provide the cooking expertise and put those Masterchef sessions to good use. Goodness knows what the baby will do, but I don’t think I’m going to put him in charge of food preparation since most of his food ends up on the wall, the tv or in the cats’ stomachs. They squat below his high chair in anticipation during every meal.
Similarly, the children are anticipating never moving out so are suggesting various redesigns of the house. Daughter one currently plans to move into the garden shed. Daughter two wants to build a swimming pool. Daughter three wants an annex for her “Monday Group”. This is something mysterious that happens at school on a Monday. She doesn’t know the details, only that she is not in it so she has created her own version at home with herself and Niall Horan from One Direction. She has made him a folder which includes a list of his favourite shapes. Curiously, she seems to be the most passionate of all the girls about One Direction, possibly because her sisters’ enthusiasm makes the whole thing seem so exciting and she wants to be one of the pack. The other day someone gave her a Charlie and Lola magazine. “I do like Charlie and Lola,” she said, “but don’t people realise that six year olds are not into baby stuff. Six year olds like hot boys, Mummy.” Oh dear.